Go ahead and laugh.... what kind of person would be diagnosed with Post Wedding Depression? Well I think that I have it....
Through out the wedding planning process I went through many emotions, happiness to sadness to anger to rage all in one day sometimes. It is stressful and at times I would ask "why are we going through all this for just one day?"
Now that this day has happened and it is over.... I would give anything to go back to those stressful days. As long as they lead to that wonderful and fun wedding weekend, I am on board!
It started on Sunday after the wedding, I just did not have a calm feeling of relief. I had a gut feeling of sadness.
Not that I was married.... but that the wedding was over.
As married life continued and we got back from our honeymoon, the sadness came back. I hated the idea of going back to work. I hated the idea that life had to go on as usual.
I did not realize it, but I must have had expectations of how our lives would change after the wedding. B and I have lived together for 3 years pre-marriage, so obviously living together would not change. I am not sure what I thought would be different, but as the days went by I started being really snippy with my new husband. I was a mean person.... because he was not meeting my expectations.
As this is going on I realize that I am having a hard time adjusting to what is our normal life. I am already adjusted to that life, I wanted a new shiny married life to appear. Married Life is just reality and nothing is different for the most part. I did not expect that, I thought maybe we would be in honeymoon newly wed phase for years... we would race home to spend time together or make special plans.
None of that is happening.... even when I try to make it happen, life gets in the way.
Now, if some of you are still laughing.... here is some back up to my insanity...
I am not the only one. It is normal.... I will get through this.
The best part is that I was finally able to admit my sorrows to my husband and although he is confused on how to react, he is willing to listen and let me get it all out there.....
I can see now why people have babies right away because then there is something exciting to focus on... calm down, I am not headed down that path anytime soon.
For now, I will focus on what is new and exciting. I am married and even if that means that life remains the same... it is different! I have someone that loves me for me and we are working on sticking together forever!